Funny, I was thinking about what to title my first blog here regarding dating and S.O.S. came to mind. I knew it meant you were in distress and to send help but I had to google it to know what the letters really stood for. Do you know it really stands for "Save Our Souls"? How fitting. I didn't mean to get that deep and it was suppose to be funny, but it just goes to show when something comes up, it usually is for a reason because that's exactly how I feel in the dating world right now.
My name is Tracey and I'm 49 years old. I'm a single mom to a beautiful 14 year old daughter, Jessie Joy, who is the light of my life. I had an epiphany when I was chatting with my daughter in October of 2014. She had told me that there was a boy who she knew wanted to ask her out to date. My first instinct was to say "no way," but my first question was "what is dating in 8th grade now a days?" She responded, "Face timing and texting." So, I told her if that was it, she could "date." After I thought about it, I realized that at my age and in this new era of technology, that's actually pretty much how dating is for me lately and that we were going through the same thing at the same time -- her at 14 and me at 49. Gone are the days of meeting someone out, talking to them, flirting a little and then them asking you for your phone number and actually calling you to ask you out for a proper date. I've had relationships start by text and end by text without ever getting together (and other girls I know, too). I just recently had a phone relationship with someone that we had a huge number of friends in common on Facebook. He had reached out to me and we ended up talking . . . all week . . . without him asking me out. I asked him (which was a little awkward) if he planned on asking me out, otherwise I really didn't have time to just sit on the phone all week and talk. He said, of course he wanted to ask me out, but he was just trying to get to know me by phone first because he didn't "date." It ended after one week over a text. No phone call, just a text. I can go on and on about stories maybe not exactly like that but close over the years I have been single and dating. And, I know a plethra of other people going through the same thing. My friend and I were out last night and a guy was complimenting her and saying how he wanted to go out with her. She gave him her phone number at the end of the night when he asked, and then they texted for about another hour or so and she was excited about the prospect of a nice guy to go out with. She looked him up on Facebook and did some investigating and found out he was actually married with one older son by his first wife and two smaller children from a second marriage. When she had asked him, he said he was divorced with only one kid. He never knew she found this out and after that texting conversation, he hasn't reached out again.
I know men who have similar dating stories regarding women . . . so this isn't a blog just to talk about how bad men are at dating. This is an equal opportunity blog! What I really want to know is in this day and age have we actually created the mess we are in? With women's rights (and I'm all for them, don't get me wrong), but have women "bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan . . . and never, ever, let you forget you're a man" . . forgotten that last part? And, have men forgotten how to be men? I mean real men . . . respectful men. My mom, who's 85, and I were talking today about dating. My dad passed away 8 years ago and they were married for 59 years when he passed (they were married at her at 19 and him at 20 years old). We were talking about how back in the day, men respected women and women respected men. Now, seeing videos and pictures and lyrics to songs, I wonder do we even most of the time respect ourselves? And, what are we teaching our kids and the next generation? One of my daughters male classmates just got brought up on sexual harassment charges last week (he's in 8th GRADE!) because he was grabbing the girls butts! And, the girls hated it but none of them ever said anything until one or two brave souls anonymously told a teacher at the school. And, what is sad, is that my daughter told me that the kids were mad at the girls they thought it was because they thought they ratted him out! I know even at my age that girls are taught to giggle it off, not make waves or make things awkward, so we don't say anything. But, in not saying anything are we really saying it's what we want and that's what guys think? Look at YouTube videos now a days and listen to lyrics to songs -- especially rap songs (even by the women . . . can you say Nicki Minaj -- and I'm not even that hip and I know). Women slithering on the ground, wearing suggestive clothes and men throwing money around and calling his women ho's. And then we wonder why there are so many people out there looking for someone but can't find them.
So, I've decided to start a blog. I don't know, maybe talking about it and my experiences and others experiences, I can figure something out (not really sure what it is yet, but I'll let you know when and if I do). I'm going to be sending out surveys to see if I can get answers from both men and women and see what people are really searching for on both sides. Wish me luck! Because, if I can figure it out, then maybe I can help you figure it out!
If you want to take the first survey, please go here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/TN6XTYS
It's only 7 questions and only takes a couple of minutes.
Love and blessings,
Tracey
*DISCLAIMER: I know there are a LOT of nice men out there who are very respectful to women, just as there are a LOT of nice women out there very respectful to men. And, it takes different things to make a relationship. Just because two people are single doesn't mean they belong together, there has to be mutual attraction to begin with and then it goes on from there. This is just my way to see if I can help to find out what both men and women are looking for in hopes of maybe gaining some insight into this new, technical, dating world.
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